Discomfort = Growth
I saw this great TedTalk on Youtube the other day with a well-known lifecoach named Mel Robbins. She brought up an interesting topic which just so happened to be incredibly relevant to me. Actually, she hit the nail on the head in terms of what I have been learning lately.
You see, the past few weeks, months, and years- in different stages- I have been going through a sort of metamorphosis. It's like I've been thrust head-on into the jungle of real life but somehow, I've got it in my hands and I'm sort of wrestling with it and trying to figure it out. Sometimes I feel stuck, sometimes I feel lost, sometimes I feel like nothing is going right. The thing is, though, these feelings don't last long. Lately they have been the result of some major, major changes I have brought about in my life. That's what I want to touch on today.
What Mel mentions in her talk, and what really hit home for me, was that as humans we are biologically engineered to not do the hard thing. You know, that thing that you've always wanted to do or that thing that you dread doing? It involves risk. It involves putting away your ego for a second and stepping directly into the deep end. It might get you to a place better than you could have even imagined but the act of actually doing it puts you at too much of a biological risk that therefore you will never do it.
So, how do we work with that feeling? We're living in a world where we're surrounded by so-called "hustlers", people flaunting the wealth they've accumulated by the age of 20 on instagram, and we're going about our daily lives feeling unfulfilled. I have a proposition for you- two, actually. First, never believe what you see on social media. It's just riddled with lies. Second, you can be whatever person you dream of being, because usually inherently, we know who that person is. And maybe inherently, we know how to get there too. The difference is that you might have to sit down and explore these parts of you and of your life that you have been perhaps ignoring because maybe you are too afraid of what will happen. Maybe you'll fail, right? That's dangerous.
Do it. Whatever you're feeling, in your gut, that is instinct! That is your body telling you, hey, go this way! Even though your brain is saying no, stay in bed! It's safer here!
Get out of bed. Make the decision.
Now, I'm not saying to be impulsive and make some huge life decision just on a whim based on gut instinct alone. Most of us have to be realistic about where we are in life and work with that. However, it's about baby steps. It's about at least putting yourself out there, paving the path so that you can get to where you want to go.
Here's a real example of how this has been applying to me in my life: Recently, I've had some big life decisions on my mind that I knew I should make. Why did I know I should make them? They had been keeping me up at night. They were draining me of all my energy. They were just sitting at the back of my head, taking up space, waiting until the day I was ready to make them.
But this is what Mel Robbins is saying: That day will never come unless you just fucking do it.
I didn't want to make these decisions, in reality, because I was afraid of the outcomes. I didn't want to make them because I didn't know where I would be after the fact. Making them would mean my life would drastically change. To be honest, I had quite a spiritual experience recently which I will explain in another post, but what it left me with was an unwavering certainty that to move on with my life and, more than that, allow myself to get closer to a more authentic version of myself, I needed to do this. So I did. Bit by bit, I made drastic changes. It took balls, I have to say. It was exhausting.
I was sick for a week. I was crying every day. I didn't know what I had done or why I had done it. I felt awful about myself. However, after a few days and some therapy, I started to feel better. I started to feel more motivated. I began to really get a sense of purpose and authenticity that I knew intuitively would come from this. And I realized, holy shit- I can't believe how much I've grown.
I can't believe how much I've grown. Just in a few weeks. It didn't come from sitting in a place where I was maybe unhappy but life was easier. It took forcing myself to make what I knew intuitively were decisions I had to make.
In this moment, I couldn't be happier.
So what i want to leave you with is a lesson that Mel teaches beautifully and that I had somehow taught myself with the help of my spiritual guardian angel: We are all doing the best we can. That is for sure. Everyone, no matter how they are living their life, should be respected and admired. But you know what? I think you have something you're hiding.
I think you can do better.
Just step into the discomfort and, my dear, watch yourself bloom.
You can do it. You can do it.
Until next time,